i feel so hurt... am i a bitch or wat
2001-12-03 at 5:16 p.m.

"I'm a bitch, I'm a ?, I'm a sinner" - Meredith Brook

I was supposed to meet my fren at 12pm to treat him lunch cos he helped me much. I went there at about 11.25pm cos I was early. Den I waited until 1.10pm and I was in Yoshinoya, sitting there without buying any food(like a fool). Then I called home cos my sis paged and I called Vic(I'm at her house now yeh). Den I felt down cos I was like an idiot cos I tot he stood me up (not purposely). Den he came... all along he had strongly rejected my treat and now also. I had to make a deal wif him but he said he would break it anitime. Nvm he asked for my results and I traded that I would treat him.

Fine... he asked me to walk wif him and see where we land up, movies also dun wan, lunch also dun wan... hmm we got to tanglin mall.. hmm ok i said : "ur choice choose wat u wan" den we settled in mac.. he didn't wan me to treat him to mac.. nuthin .. but I think I wanted to to show my appreciation. den he disappeared somewhere and asked me not to follow him but i did, so he walked back to mac... hmm i said: "ok chocolates" he said:"3 mins" . So i went to buy and when i came back, he was about to leave and he left a note "Good luck for 'O's Cya around"

I was about to cry:" are u tryin to get rid of me?" Ok I'm irritating I'm stupid I'm mean I'm a bitch but you don't have to do this to me... Why is it so hard to understand a guy fren even? Ok he wanted to run away and said he wanted to go home and told me to take the chocos... I realli wanted to cry as I said:" wat am i going to do wif the chocolates? I brought them for u" I caught up wif him and told him to get the chocos but he refused to touch it even... i wanted to juz leave the chocos there and walk away but I din.

I was gettin pissed off at the actions and also i felt like breaking down there and then but i din. I raised my voice:" I realli getting angry and pls take it all right?" And i walked real fast and he asked me whether I'm going home frm tt bus stop. I said no and waved gdbye... at tt pt. of time i realli wanted to cry.. ( was i too forceful ,unreasonable, naggy or wat?)

I walked all e way till Botanical Gardens. I went in and there was a kind lady wif a baby and a child. She told me to join them in feeding the fish and I did. She realli made me feel alot betta cos if it din happen I dunno wat I would have done there and then. She not onli introduced the trees to me but also treated me to a drink, she even offered to give me a lift in the taxi. Wow.. I was realli touched by wat she did as I realli was feeling real down. The weather was bright and cooling when I was in Botanical but when we wanted to go home it started to rain. Then it brought across to me that life is full of ups and downs, like the unpredictable weather. ( It stopped rainin later). Juz like today, I got gd news for my results, and next I dunno wat happened to my frenship, n a kind soul showed kindness to me. So I guess it's like "yu guo tian qing". Ya rite now i realli dunno wat i shld do abt my fren.... =~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(

But I realli want to thank tt lady who was so kind and I hope that she will continue to bless others like me wif her kindness...

Wat a sad day ... but lucky I hav my fren beside to watch u noe wat? LIU XING HUA YUAN!