gOLdfiSH eyes. ShaTteRed hEart. PaiN
2003-02-16 at 7:31 p.m.

15th feb sat

went to church wif a heavy heart...

until service finished then felt better

somehow i think pam is reluctant.

haiz nvm.

hmm supposed to surprised niza after WFL at 3pm. but wanted to reconfirm so called fidz

but tt stupid guy passed the phone to her! grr.. den of cos if she's out wif him she can't be working rite.

oh she changed her shift to night.

nvm go surprise her at nite.

sent pam off den went to cine area(she's working there)

wee she looked so surprised n happy..

bought a "flower" for her.. not cheap k.

$7 bucks. haha

but if it makes her happy =)

she still looks as good.. haha

*huggies*

well at night.. was devasting, heart-breaking, heart-aching, heart-tearing, soul-ripping.

cried like shit.

it was den i realised it wun do. i'm not going to giv up.

when i don't, it's juz someone stabbing my heart with a knife.

when i do, i'm using multiple knives, not stabbing myself, but slowing skinning, digging into my heart.

i have not felt so hurt, so pain for such a long time..

i cried my heart n soul out tt nite. till i'm too tired den sleep.

16th feb sun

woke up looking like panda

went to meet they pple

had diarroea. livi said i looked white n pale.. dunno la

left for extended prayer meeting.

wow. felt so good n refreshed..

i mean i dun feel as burdened.. cos i noe wat to do liao..