win liao la... bo wei gong
2003-02-05 at 10:32 p.m.

ouch

knocked my head against the wall 20 times liao.

bo pian la.

tell u lo... be middleman also cannot hold on long lo.

i can't support my bro for long, dun think he can take it long also.

cos we are part of the family...

both of us were advising my mum, that we should go for counselling ( my sis agreed liao)

N MIND U.. MIND U I SAID. counselling is not for losers. n only losers refuse to adknowledge they nid help.

but one point i seriously realised (again) : it's easy to giv advice to others, it's not easy to take it in.

i noe at such a age, a mum wun take that in, i mean esp said by her children, n her stubborness. but we tried her first cos she's more reasonable n less stubborn as dad.

all of us nid people around us as mirrors to tell us our faults. i mean i do as well : i'm getting choleric n if i dun like things the way i wan it done, i will raise my temper.

i remembered in one entry i said: so much for giving pple advice when i can't apply it to myself. yea it's easy to advice pple. i did quite a good job juz now.

well it's the same, docs need other docs to diagnose their illness.

but man tell you. i'm trying. someone offered me help. it's hard but i took his hand. i accepted help. i'm still very frigid, but i'm moving, slowly yet steadily.

i noe.. it's so damn not easy but juz as long u are willing to take the 1st step to accept tt help.

n it's so man very difficult juz now, when mum, kor and me were tokking, to bring up the very basic fact that we need God. We need Him. Praying n reading the Bible helps. Fellow people will understand what i mean.

but seriously i told my mum, pls settle all these soon. being middleman is very exhausting and before u noe it all the everyone's probs will be on U instead.

i mean if i am a counsellor, i am not ur fren or relative or know u, i wun hav so much probs but to help this family or couple or watever with unbiased views nor too much emotions.

i told my mum, escaping n running away is not a solution.

funny i can't tell that on myself...

words of advice:

resolve wat u hav. never habour it in ur heart. becos hatred goes darker every minute. learn to forgive.