still crumbling..
2006-04-17 at 11:35 a.m.

Lord i thank you for loving me.. i really am grateful.thank you for dying on the cross and resurrect..

but right now i really am still very weak.

i try so bloody hard, trying to do things to occupy myself, to make myself happy.

the drinking session on fri wasn't tt helpful, it did make me more tired n sleepy, why did they stop me from drinking more, i wan to be so dead drunk.

i tried to occupy myself on sat too.. but i miserably failed n cried on the bus.

yesterday, i packed myself with church, and met up with joyce and shifu. we went to "cha ren" ktv.

damn. tt stretch of road. those songs.
cried n cried n cried again.

went on to Cine and watched Firewall with them, zhirong, yao yang n his fren.

good i was tired. i chatted with kang wei till 1 plus

bathed n went to sleep.

I WOKE UP tis morning. nothing helped.
i still feel so painful.
i still miss him so much.

i seriously dun wan to resort to tt metal ruler again. i dun wan to.