sickening fools
2004-10-23 at 9:58 a.m.

Dear Diary
They told me that I was the ugliest thing they'd
ever
seen, and i started to cry.
I went home and Jake called me.
I thought the day would get better.
But he told me that long distance
relationships
dont work out.
He lived in California, and I moved to
Michigan.
Then I told him I loved him and that I missed
him.
He told me that the only reason he ever went
out
with me was because
I was a joke, and he was dared to.
Then he dumped me.
We were going out for two and a half years!

November 9,1999

Today got a little better.
I miss jake so much you dont even know
diary!!!!
But he even changed his number so I
wouldn't
call
him.
But the most hottest guy at school asked me
to
the dance!
And those prissy girls that said im ugly let me
hang out with them
at lunch today.
It was cool!!

November 10,1999

I'm crying right now... turns out that hot guy
was
a
jerk at the
dance he
poured his punch on me, and those girls
ripped
my dress and everyone
started
laughing.
Then my grandma told me today that mom
and
dad got in a little car
accident
today at work.
They're in critical condition, they might die.
I can't write anymore.

November 11, 1999

Todays a saturday... but me and grandma
were
at
the hospital all
night long.
Dad died this morning.
Mom is going to live, but she's crippled for her
life.
I wanna die too. while we were at the hospital
grandma found out
that she had
cancer in her stomach.
She has to go on chemo- therapy .
I cant believe daddy died.
I'm crying more then I have my whole life .
I'm in shock.
I cant write...I'm too tired.
I need sleep.

November 12

Daddy is not dead!
He can't be!
Its all a dream.
My life is perfect.
Jake still loves me.
I can barely write.
I'm crying too much.
I wanna die.
Take me.
Bye...
*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

One day later, Lisa was found dead in her
basement.
She had hung herself with a yellow rope.
I am her mother.
My name is Maranda Gonzalez.
The reason I wrote this e-mail to all of you, is
because no one else deserves
what my daughter had.

Please remember that everyone needs love.

Everyone needs a hug everyday.

No one should be made fun of, or insulted.
No one deserves to die like Lisa did.

All of you please dont be the popular prissy
girls
that put other
people down to make themselves feel better!

Please dont be the awful posessed date for
the
dance that makes
people cry.

Now please do me the honor of sending this
to
as
many people as you
can think of.
So that way everyone will know not to be a
jerk.
Thank you.
Everyone who send this will be rewarded
with a
random act of
kindness..

this i promise you

-> ya la har u fools juz dunno how blessed u all are
ya la who doesn't go thru pain n suffering
only noe how to complain complain
sickening fellas
me also one fool la
everyone fool la

seriously, who wud be like Jesus who died for people even he knows how sickening we all are. damnit.

pls la i'm not some holy moly la . shit i'm a sinner too ok
i hav my limits too
if u fools juz dun wan to listen, i can only do tis much la
in e end it's up to all of u
damnit!

everytime only noe how to complain tis complain tt
come on la.. i noe we need to hav a life
but no one's asking u to meet whole damn day rite
juz 2-3 hrs one day
n damn it it's not EVERY single day lo
if u hav valid reasons ya i understand i'm flexible but y can't u juz see it
come on la u think if it's so easy
come n lead la

God, i find it so hard to love but yet u did..

tt's y i can't say anything but thank u for ur agape love..

God help me to love n hav compassion man...
change me..