y am i such a lamer
2001-12-07 at 2:11 a.m.

wat's wrong wif being pessimistic?

y muz pple scold me 4 tt

i hav all my rite to scold myself

i got all the rite to feel down

wat's wrong wif taking all the blame

wat's wrong

i'm doing other a favour wt

y am i 4ever a xiao mei mei in pple's eyes

y?

wat?

juz becos of my age

so i am childish?

i can't think?

xiao mei mei

haha

u think u noe more den i do?

fine go ahead

watever

i sux

ok den u gonna rag on me on being selfblame again

wow

wat?

u dun like me to say sorri?

u got a big prob issit

wat's wrong wif having selfblame

betta den scolding u rite?

i like to sae sorri?

n i get scolded for tt

wowow

den i scold the rest

den wat i becum?

a bitch?

i cannot wake up my idea?

u think everyone can issit

if it's so easy

there wun be so many pple in depression mood or

even professional consulors

tell me about it man

wat u dun like me attitude?

dun care about me la

since i'm such a pathetic person

let me rot on my own

go ahead

watver

i'm used to having one less fren

y

frens like to leave me wat

so?

my attitude bad wat so

let me rot on my own

go away man

ha

my life has never been gd

so wat for tryin to change it man

fine

im the childish the stubborn the watever one

e forever saying sorri one

e one who says the wrong things every day every time

to everyone

fine?

u happi liao

i dunno wat's ur life like

i dun wan to care animore

care as a fren

u also reject

fine i dunno u

i dun wan to try animore

i'm sick of trying

i'm bad at it

but i'm too weak to do it

i'm juz alwiz wanting to care for others

i juz can't u tell mee to stop caring

den i stop

wo bu ren xin

but if one dae i can wash my hands off all u

tt'll be the day i becum heartless

unfeeling

how i wish i was a robot

no feelins at all

u think it's so easy to gain confidence?

u think it's so easy to even try to change?

u think it's so easy ?

wat

are u goin to tell me tt

i din bother to try

or din try hard enuff?

wow.

low self esteem

u think u typing

delete low

put high issit

wow

i also can do it

look im not angry wif u

i'm juz frustrated at the things happening

u onli noe how to rag on me

u noe how i feel?

huh

ok im sorri

i dunno u at all

i take back all my words

i;m not fit to be anithin

u noe sometimes i realli feel like givin up on life

but i told myself

some pple wan to live also cannot

i try hard to forget abt my troubles

n live life as well as i could make it

now u tryin to tell me

some others are worse off den me

i noe

anione noes

but if it's tt easy

everyone will be happy

even the happiest man in the world will not be happy

cos life is never meant for u to be happy onli

fine

i noe u will rebuke everythin i sae

no pt sayin out my tots

u will think it;s all xiao mei mei's childish rubbish

watever