In tears..
2002-03-17 at 12:06 p.m.

on friday... i agreed ..

i dunno... i wanted to wait till after my o's .. but tis thing is juz driving me insane.. i wanted to clear it once and for all.. but i dunno wat to do... i'm sure tt i will get lot's of objections from many others.. i'm so scared.. so far.. only 2 said that they will back me up n support me.. i mean i never felt tt way before..

i know this is self-torturing but i can't help it.. i'm forever lost and weak.. i need others... i dunno.. i juz feel like crying NOW.. not only becos of this.. but also about my sch work.. i realise tt i'm goin to fail if no one is beside me.. guiding me to study... my homework for the hols are not done.. there is alot.. and how am i supposed to do them all by today.. i wan to cry.. i noe it's my own fault.. but i can't help it.. i am too dependant.. i suck.. i watever... i rather be dead now... i feel as if i'm dying.. if only this dying moment is not so torturous.. juz let me die now and i'm done once and for all. God save me... I'm a sinner... a great one... forgive me....