A letter for Jack
2002-07-21 at 12:51 a.m.

Hi Jack,

I know you are can't read this, but I'm going write it anyway. I'm not intending to reply you openly, cause I want to leave it as it is.

Well first of all, I want to thank you for the four years of being my friend. When i received your letters, I can't deny that I'm touched.

I'm human too, I know how it is like to like someone, but too bad, I'm just not the right person for you.

Can't blame you for your fairytale story, cause I guess everyone has their own dreamlike story, as you have heard of mine. Too bad, mine can't be fulfilled anymore, I've broken it.

I remember you once said, " How many more boyfriends are you going to have?"

That struck a deep impression in me. That wouldn't do anymore, I know. I remember how you were trying to protect me, telling me to reconsider my choice, that Paul wasn't a good choice and that I was totally wrong. Although you were ulitmately disappointed in me, you still gave me your support, and didn't laugh at me for being foolish. For that, thank you. Well I am sure that if that someone was my Mr Right, you would put away your hurt and wish me the best.

As a friend, I really wished that you would not waste your time on me, and that you will meet your right girl, and be happy with her. I really do not want to hurt you, that's why I never gave you any false hopes. This is because I have never (sorry to say) a teeny weeny bit liked you. But I know I never took you for granted, although sometimes you can be quite lame and weird, but you are still my friend. Without you, sending me home from East Coast Park and back to Bedok/East Coast Park to join the rest of them again, I wouldn't have gone home safely, or even go for the bbqs/chalets. I'm sure Eric will take care of it if you didn't, but thank God you were there. I mean you could have stayed there instead of sending me all the way and return back,wasting your two hours.

Well, I really hope that our friendship of four years would not just go, like that. I guess it's true, love spoils friendship. But I hope that we still will be friends and that you will (as you said), use the time in NS to forget me. Haha especially the BMT and army stuff. Wish you all the best, hope that you will be a changed guy( as most guys I know are) when you are out of NS.

But I hope we will keep in contact, I mean I haven't heard from you for one month ever since the letters. May you be a better person and a strong guy for God, and be his good testimony. Till then, God bless.

Lot's of friendship,

Suzu aka Huimin