Reminiscing our memories (Part 3)
2006-06-06 at 4:38 p.m.

06-06-06 - what a date to write the last part

Our Memories Part 3 (And it finally came to our end..)

29th May
I rushed down to meet you after repairing my laptop at Bugis... even though the time we spent together was very short.. I didn't mind at all.
I reached AMK at about 5pm, and we left about 6.30pm.
It was the 2nd time I went to your place.. and till now, I still can remember the route to your house..
You showed me some of your pictures and videos on your laptop. I was really contented even just looking at the other parts of your life.
How I miss Qing.. I'll never get to see her again.. nor walk that route to your house again.

31st May
We went to Far East to alter your clothes, then we proceeded to catch a bus to Suntec.
We met my friend, and I felt bad introducing her to you as my friend. But I was contented just being with you.
I folded a heart for each of us.. and we sealed it with our kisses.
Even though it was just walking around the toy shops in Suntec, it didn't bore me at all. Because every moment with you was interesting. I know you really would like to have the Superman figurine.. If only I could buy it for you.
We ate Subway before watching Over the Hedge.. remember how you bit my lip while trying to eat the cookie?
I really hope your stomach is well.. and that you'll be healthy.. So worried for your health..

It was the first time we acutally held hands in crowded public places, like in town. It was scary and dangerous BUT it was the happiest moments in my life. I wanted to tell the world I love you, that I'm so proud of you, so I held on to your hands.

We took pictures at "our seat" at Esplanade and we walked to Clarke Quay, where we held hands in front of Sean and Youjin.

1st June
We planned to go Lower Pierce Reservior but it rained heavily. You did not mind coming out at all. We took 88 again to Paris Ris Park and as usual.. I was the target of the stupid mosquitoes.. but this time i came prepared.

We sat together at the beach, I felt so happy just watching the skies with you.. how we took pictures together..
remember how the sand "turned" into a cow?
I cried.. because.

I wanna be your bride.
I wanna grow old with you.
I wanna die lying in your arms.
I wanna eat with you.
I wanna be the one who wipes your mouth for you.
I wanna be watch the sunset with you till our hair becomes white.
I wanna...

We went to the same Elias Mall's hawker to eat.. but the place no longer looks the same.. Do you remember how cute the mother cat and kitty looked.. I felt just so blissed being with you.

2nd June
From your tone at night, I knew.. I knew.. but I still had the faith and hope. I told you once more. I love you. I spent the whole night crying.

3rd June
I spent the whole time crying again. At night, as much as I hated smoking. I smoked. That night. I did not cry at all because the nicotine had made me "gong gong". For the first time I did not feel guilty harming myself. I enjoy cutting myself just to release the pain in my heart. I was preparing for tomorrow.

4th June
I woke up and cried. I cried during service because I felt so helpless, so tormented, so crushed. The awaiting of the time Eugene, you and I agreed to meet was very long. Finally the time came. I could not contain my tears. You wanted to put an end to us. By doing that, you put an end to my life too. I cried so badly after you left.. and I went to find Jasmine.. I met Lyd at Holland V, I drank. My eyes were so painful and swollen that I couldn't cry anymore. I went to sleep due to the alcohol.

Following days, needless to say. I feel damn terrible. Even right now. But I don't blame you. I've seen all the lyrics of your songs. I understand you had to do what you had to. I want to remember our memories as beautiful and sweet. But not now..it still hurts so damn much.. I still dream of you every night.. ButI'm still trying to get over you, I want to overcome this.. Maybe few years down the road.. I might become your friend. Cos I remember your idealism -> to share this friendship still.. but not now.. not now..

"I really wanna grow old with you.. but I promised.. that when you're tired.. I'll let you go..Go.. be happy. Remember that I'll be there to support you in all you do..I love you moo.. I really do.."