An Jing..
2002-04-05 at 2:33 a.m.

I'm sorry.. I'm really sorry.. I've been so caught up with my own problems that I can't even pay my attention to you. Ya Cat and esp Joyce.. I know how unhappy you feel. I may not be in your situation, but I really do know that kind of feeling ... cause I am suffering from emotions too.

Fresh drops of tears have just dropped onto the keyboard. I do not know, I just felt like crying myself silly.. I feel so ... pain, no I don't know how you describe it.. forget it..

Maybe Mun is right, I perhaps am like what she described... Laughing when I'm sad. Being hysterical and most of all acting like nothing happened when all I do is cry at night .. look at the time now ... 2.37 a.m. I don't intend to go to bed .. but soon my eyes will get itchy and tired of crying ... I will fall asleep..

His conversation just made me so pissed off.. stop that attitude. ENOUGH is ENOUGH. Sure I mean I do do the same but his is over the extreme. We practically argue almost every conversation we have.

He talked about his ex and the numerous girls in his life. Well I told him tt anytime he wants to get them back go ahead. Well just tell me and I will let him go. I mean go ahead. I'm not gd enough for anyone to love me with all their heart life and soul. The only person who I know possess that is only DaoMingSi who is only a fictional character. As he was talking about them, I added on and said ,"ya girls are chio mah.. I also want to jio. I help you jio. Or well it's easy to get them back, just give them a call. So what if she has a bf or something, just break them up." Well I can't stand myself acting so non-chalent about this. Cos for the matter of fact, I hurting and dying by every word he said and every replied i gave. GEY KIANG is wat i say.

Cannot take it still act so magnimous about it. In the end what? End up crying. Haha. Of cos he didn't noe I wanted to cry.. I even laughed as I told him those... but I was so tempted to break down .. but I didn't.. tears just fell naturally when I told him to put down the fone..

today, mun and i went west mall. I wanted to go out wif mUn den meet him too. apparently i was bloody pissed.. and watsoever.. mun still hasn't changed her impression ... well i went to the food court.. probably kenna influenced by Cat... I dedicated That's Why You Go Away (MLTR) and Ai Ni Duo Ni ( Daniel Chan )

mUn that blur queen forgot her boots. took taxi all the way back to sch at 5plus and den i seriously wanted to go homee .. ya i was damn pissed at the bus stop .. anyway we went to clementi to eat. i didn't want to tok n kept my mouth shut most of the timee ..

Till now, I still much hurt by whatever our conversation was.. I often have to do this .. whenever he toks about another.. I would juz ask if she is pretty .. and if she is.. I WILL jio her first. Well, wat else can I do?