No one appreciates a vase.. till it broke
2003-11-10 at 2:10 a.m.

went to do charity at sun love home today

was early for logistics

sang many songs with winnie

never sang like that for so long

i was really displeased

with myself

but i don't blame them

they have no experience

but i felt miserable

i wouldn't want to be looked at

i just had to do something

i told them

i felt like tearing

for the patients

God you would wipe every of our tears wouldn't you

God you would heal them wouldn't you

a guy patient gave me a shock

shook my hands, stood up suddenly, "kissed" me on the cheek, sat down and shook my hands again

i was shocked for a moment but my heart felt for them

i understood their need for other people's love

to express thanks

but i knew my love and compassion had to grow

we only can do our best for just the rare chances

looking at them

we are blessed

but we shen zai fu zhong bu zhi fu

always complaining about small things

upset over certain things

take the people and things around us for granted

regret when it's too late

never treasured our lives

living our lives in misery

unwilling to change when we have the truth

don't do our part in saving the lost souls

sitting at the bus stop

i stared at the white board. IMH.. i think of the cat

i think of e pple

i teared

the cat..tried to squeeze out of the fence

but it couldn't

i teared.. cos i couldn't do anything

i could feel it's struggle

it's need for freedom

it's loss.. without her mum

i dunno how.. it somehow got out n followed me to e bus stop

i teared again.. cos i noe i can't do anything more for it

i turned my head away

i stared at the white board

i read the words

i remember the guy in there

i related it to the cat

i teared secretively

issit that the cat represents a part of me? i hope not

i'm pretty sick

sick of this rollercoaster ride

makes me giddy n nauseous

but tis ride is going on n on and on

the day when it stops

is the day i die on the ride

i tried my best to keep the ride steady

to sit tight n enjoy the breeze

but it won't help if the rollercoaster juz

goes on going up n down like nobody's business

if i let go of my seat belt

i will fall from the height n die

maybe i will die on the ride

if it never stops.

there were times the ride was smooth

i was so happy

but when it starts going down fast

it makes me faint

[01:05:34] heyyyyy yaaa: that's what rollercoasters do..

[01:05:37] heyyyyy yaaa: they make you sick...

[01:05:53] heyyyyy yaaa: yeah.

[01:07:22] no one appre: ...

[01:07:29] no one appre: ya i noe how u feel

[01:07:41] no one appre: u juz dun understand how come it's only kept to frenship

[01:07:48] no one appre: tt's y u say things rite

[01:08:12] no one appre: den she will juz ans u back things which make u wan to .. not happy wif

[01:08:13] no one appre: rite?

[01:08:23] no one appre: the ans is not wat u wan but u expected it rite

[01:08:30] no one appre: n u feel like u've done alot

[01:08:44] no one appre: somehow she's doesn't seem to appreciate or something rite

[01:09:38] heyyyyy yaaa: yeah..exactly...

[01:09:40] heyyyyy yaaa: haha...

[01:09:45] heyyyyy yaaa: couldn't have said it better myself...

[01:09:50] no one appre: i understand u noe k**t

[01:09:54] no one appre: how u n he feels.

[01:10:11] no one appre: tt means i might noe how a****a feels

[01:10:14] no one appre: cos i feel a lot.

[01:11:18] heyyyyy yaaa: yeah...

[01:11:22] heyyyyy yaaa: i guess...

[01:11:42] heyyyyy yaaa: so i guess i'm sort of the villain then!

since i must have caused to a****a what he's causing to you..

[01:11:52] no one appre: haiz..

[01:11:57] no one appre: it's nobody's fault k**t

[01:12:02] no one appre: it's juz.. the way it is..

[01:12:13] no one appre: it's how we try to handle it the proper way now..

[01:13:53] heyyyyy yaaa: i guess...

[01:13:55] heyyyyy yaaa: never mind..

[01:13:58] heyyyyy yaaa: life goes on..

[01:14:07]