going thru a damn lot of shit
2002-04-03 at 7:10 p.m.

I'm pissed. But I can't be bothered to be pissed anymore. I am tired of waiting ... day to night ... night to day. I decided to let it be.. and take what it comes. I have absolutely no will to fight on anymore. I'm just simply helpless. Whatever.

So what if I feel miserable? So what if I don't feel good? So what if I am sad and hurt, lonely and lost? Ya I am the demanding one, attention-seeker. That's the way I am.

I need full attention... but so what?

So what? What can I do? What right do I have? I'm just another shit ass person.

So much about telling myself this will work. I guess I am not fit to love, or be loved.

I know I am f**king demanding. Or am I just asking for too much? I know he has he own life, own problems. But what's the use if he can't even be bothered to say Hi to me, not even say share his life with me? Oh whatever.

What's the use of saying forget it or never mind when actually I do mind? Self-pity.

To a bitch:

I have never hated anyone but myself before. Don't be the first person I truly hate. I can't stand it anymore. You are part of why i detest sch. I have to see your bloody face everyday. Ya you think you are so great ? So smart? So grand? So virtous?

Kiss my butt.